Quick post: working up a post about circumcision and religious freedom. Should be a fun one.
I have an overwhelming desire to sell/give away as much stuff as humanly possible.
It was spurred by taking my desk down so I could give it to alex in exchange for the larger, longer desk. Yet without a desk my room feels roomier. With my desk gone the need for my TV, lamp and assorted keyboards mice headsets and usb hubs fall by the wayside too. Even while writing this I feel silly with my mouse plugged in when there’s a perfectly good trackpad literal centimeters away from my thumbs. There comes a decrease in the need for crap.
So, does anyone want some books?
Today was a day. It was tempered by a constant desire to run away screaming from every single dumb caller today. I can’t run away from work, so I just sit there wishing peoe would chill the fuck out about evrything. At least we had pizza today, sorry to say its cause our hr hiring rep didn’t do a good enough job getting people to come into our open house (sorry)
CATTG is back, mind you it’s so balls cold no one is showing up except the people whom ive had to plot painful treatments for (damn you rob!) but the conversations are steeped in geeky knowledge and wonderful treatises about magic cards. Apparently wizards of the coast made EDH decks official and renamed them as “commander” decks. Who knew?
I wasn’t very interested in their conversations for long though. I suppose I continually have my head in the clouds, thinking about mixtures of nothing and everything all at once. I can’t seem to keep my head on straight without it threatening to roll off, scaring nearby conversationalists. I must admit it’d break from the usual hum-drum.
Also I’m fucking tired of being called a hipster. Fuck. You. Guys.
I hear such absurd things some days. Being told I have a well founded ego is just one of them! To have positive characteristics turned against you to win arguments is quite common among my friends, albeit I personally disbelieve i possess enough beneficial traits to make it a worthwhile strategy against me. It backfired. While winning the point of the argument, it calmed my nerves about life, the universe & everything.
Absurdity is refusing to accept facts as they present themselves. I have been quite absurd as of late. Growing up isn’t so much about learning you have the capacity to do such silly things as owning a car, paying rent, or even having a job. It’s about the mind set where you realize you’re finally capable of doing the things you previously thought impossible. It is fair to say I’ve lived the absurd life for many years and if I were smart enough I’d be in a better position than I am now.
Lesson of the day: re-examine your life often, listen to friends, criticize and think hard about what’s going on. You may accidentally find yourself late to the game and have to play catch up.
As i’m writing this it’s just past midnight. I spent the last few hours with friends watching The Social Network and now put on my trusty Grado SR-60s to listen to some Pink Floyd. I would love nothing more than to be able to talk about something ground breaking or significant that might allow us to escape the pettiness of our lives. We don’t really need that, not tonight. Let us tonight spend some time thinking about where we’re at and what would make us happy.
Being rudderless is bland, painful and, as some may have figured out, destructive.
Let’s end that nonsense shall we? I figure even I have more interesting things to do than sit around my house moping because I somehow think i’m an insignificant human being (I may very well be, but I shouldn’t spend all my energy just worrying about it). D&D is ramping up again now that our beloved Rodrigo (he’s not really beloved but he makes our lives that much more interesting -ed) is back in Kansas and I’ve taken up the crazy activity of trying to improve my sketching from zero talent to third grader (status: success!).
With one final image I’ll end tonights thoughts:
Big Woop.
If you have crappy at&t in your home town (like I do) and Verizon is pretty darn good then hey more choices.
If you are already a Verizon customer and like your Droid phone (like my brother) then it’s not going to matter one damn bit.
All in all it’s who can get the cheapest rates.
We all understand the utility of carrying around, better yet syncing with services like dropbox, our important files. I only use my 16 gigabyte flash drive to carry a 4KB text file with my wifi passcode on it, a far cry from its former glory of paper and video hauling. I’ve considered modifying my favorite applications to seamlessly run from it to ensure wherever I go my preferred applications _will_ be there.
Modifying .plist files is not my idea of a fun. Then I saw this:
Whether this is actually what happened is moot. It becomes possible to log into any Mac OS X machine, input your credentials and have immediate access to not only every document saved in your iDisk folder but every single application as soon it’s required. Once high speed internet is (more) ubiquitous, being stymied at new installs or using a friends computer becomes absurd. Already this extends into system settings, set your background to a file in iDisk, load a new computer and pull up mobile me sync, wait 30 seconds and you’re in the comforting realm of your desktop.
I recognize this future is entirely in the realm of the apple ecosystem. There are people smarter than me who could recreate the majority of this feature set with a minimal of effort, far too intimidating for the likes of my mother.
If having a system powerful enough to entertain the geeks while keeping their “the mouse icon broke” discussions with neophyte family members isn’t the ideal future, I don’t know what is.
In his blog post about loneliness Roger Ebert utilizes his ability of the more articulate to encapsulate the somber thoughts of solitude in a way most cathartic, as well as inspirational. Thanks to Mr. Ebert for once again opening himself to the world, inspiring others perhaps to participate in the world or at least try to understand it better.
Loneliness: the bitterness experienced when you discover that the person you intended to share some notion or feeling is not there. With Surprise followed by disappointed, leading into disappointment.
That individual, with whom any statement given or received is a joyous occasion, is an unknown in my life. Her discovery seems impossible, try as I might I never discover who she is or where she’s at. I’ve spent my whole life searching, sometimes I think we’ve found that special person. Then reality checks me against the wall.
Instead of spending all my time looking for the person with whom I can thoroughly rely I should invest in myself, distractions or some other such thing. I’ve convinced myself I’ve found that significant other who can make me feel not alone with people who made me feel less alone. Such bitterness follows that I often believe I will remain this way forever. A cynical robe trying to cover the obvious optimism of hoping for her. This isn’t a way to life, forever hopeful that someone will come.
Time to let the realist rest control, find entertainment, avoid solitude and rejoice at the freedoms of youth. I will let myself be surprised to find her there, waiting to hear my tales and diversions.
Work has been awesome. By awesome I mean busy and almost overwhelming. The greatest thing about my current job is it can change at a moments notice. This Monday started my 2 week stint putting out fires, and making sure people get what they paid for. Is it scary? Hells yes. The last two nights I’ve had worrying fears that things are falling apart and I’m not smart enough to notice.
Maybe that’s why I feel rotten when my boss lauds my efforts. I am haunted with the feeling it’s too good to be true. “We’re sorry Chris, but we discovered our mistake. Please clear out your desk.” Or worse, demoted back to where I started.
At least I had my review, nearly all top marks, perhaps that’s a sign it really is all in my head.
Also: I have weekends off (woo)
